Chapter 21: Erina
I was of poor commoner birth.
Each day was without knowing if I would even get that day’s meal, but having kind parents at my side, I was able to endure.
However they died in an epidemic, and I was left alone.
No relatives, nor connections to rely on… but I did not want do die, so I desperately continued living.
I worked myself to the bone, and one day, when I grew enough to be seen as a woman…. a turning point stumbled upon me.
A certain noble saw me working in town and fell in love at first sight, so he invited me, saying he wanted to hire me as his servant.
The job included attending in the bedroom, but with a job promising guaranteed meals and a salary almost impossible earn in current lifestyle, there were no reasons to hesitate.
And so I became a noble’s servant, and continued growing while learning various things as one.
After a few years…. when I became used to attending goshujin-sama, and gained a decent status at the mansion… I was afflicted with an illness.
I was able to keep my life, but my body weakened in addition leaving even more dreadful side effects.
My body became unable to ever give birth to a child that was supposed to become my sole family to me, who lost her parents.
And as if adding insult to my injury, I was driven out of the mansion.
Not having enough physical strength to even perform at the bedroom, I ended up completely forsaken.
Driven out from the mansion, unable to give birth, I lost hope in everything, thinking anything and everything did not matter anymore.
With my luggage in hand, I sat in a daze at a corner of the town, it would not be surprising if I was attacked at any time, that kind of me…. was approached by a single girl.
「Nee, onee-san, what are you doing at a place like this?」(Aria)
That was my encounter with Aria-sama.
An encounter of fate…. that gave me salvation from despair.
※※※※※
After that I became Aria-sama’s servant, and watched over her growth.
Aria-sama is my patron and while I never let it show in my words nor attitude, I walked together thinking of her as my much younger sister.
Afterwards… I met Dee, I met Noel, and even if Eldrand house is ruined, I only live for Aria-sama’s sake.
And… Aria-sama who got sired with a child of the one I hate….
「Aria-sama! Please….look! It is a boy!」(Erina)
「Aa….I’m glad. It was….born safely」(Aria)
「Please hold yourself together Aria-sama! Are you not going to hold the child?」(Erina)
I call out to her while holding the baby that was just born, but Aria-sama’s condition is only getting worse.
As I thought, giving birth with her current physical strength was too much.
But… I was not able to stop her.
Because I could understand Aria-sama’s wish to give birth to the point it hurt.
「Aria-sama! Please. For this child… for us… please live Aria-sama!」(Erina)
I understand that the flame of Aria-sama’s life is about to dissapear.
My parents… Aria-sama, who saved me, as well.
All people dear to me….end up leaving me.
「No. I…don’t want to lose people important to me anym-….」(Erina)
「What… are you saying. You’re not….only losing」(Aria)
「But Aria-sama, you….」(Erina)
And Aria-sama, after taking the baby from me, smiles while showing me it’s face.
「Here, look closely. A new…. life」(Aria)
「!?」(Erina)
「Erina, you might not given birth to this child… but this baby is everyone’s child. Raise it… with great care」(Aria)
「No, let us do it together, Aria-sama! With everyone… let us raise a splendid child!」(Erina)
「….That’s true, I… want to raise it too…. but that’s not quite possible, I think?」
Aa…Please don’t.
I don’t… I don’t want… this….
「Your name is Sirius. My Sirius… I love you. Live not bound by anyone, straighforwardly, believing in yourself. That is kaa-san’s wish. Erina… I leave the rest to you. Give him my share of love as well」(Aria)
And after entrusting Sirius-sama to me, Aria-sama….
「Aria-sama!? Aria…sama….」(Erina)
Having accomplished everything, feeling extremely satisfied… she passed away.
And only one’s left are an absentminded me… and Sirius-sama, who was just born.
Aria-sama merely desired happiness for family and surrounding people, only that… so why…did this.
『Erina, you might not given birth to this child… but this baby is everyone’s child. Raise it… with great care』
At that time, hearing a baby’s cry and feeling it’s warmth, I regained my senses.
Get a grip… You don’t have time to be lamenting.
This personange left by Aria-sama….Sirius-sama, only you can protect him, you know?
「Aria-sama… I will make sure to raise Sirius-sama splendidly. Please watch over us」(Erina)
This was my encounter with Sirius-sama.
An encounter with one brought me happiness… a personage more important to me than anything else.
※※※※※
A month since then.
By the time everyone in the mansion got over Aria-sama’s death, I was engrossed in Sirius-sama’s cuteness.
Cute and round eyes, inherited from his mother, very tiny hands, that grab onto my finger when I hold it out…. every little thing is adorable.
But he’s also a little strange personage.
I have taken care of babies several times in the past, but Sirius-sama does not grumble at all, and does not spill a drop when I feed him.
It is almost as if he understands my words, and it feels like he would eat by himself if I handed him a spoon.
「Even so, Sirius-sama does eat cleanly, doesn’t he?」(Noel)
「Sirius-sama is special」(Erina)
It seems Sirius-sama’s developement is fast when compared with other babies. As expected of Aria-sama’s child.
Noel was tilting her head in wonder, but gave up thinking about it because of Sirius-sama’s cuteness.
After that Noel calls out to Sirius-sama several times wanting to be called onee-chan but…. why does it feel like it is just not me, but also Sirius sama is fed up with it?
I am happy he is developing fast but…. I end up thinking of wanting to raise him a bit more slowly.
However, that those are my feelings as a mother, feelings that I can in no way embrace.
I am Aria-sama’s servant, so watching over Sirius-sama’s growth is plenty.
※※※※※
I collapsed due to water disease.
I had no sensation of my body due to fever and my conciousness was getting vague, but I did understand that my death is approaching.
「Aria…..sa….ma….」(Erina)
Even though I still….have things left do… will I end… in a place like this?
Aria-sama….I am sorry.
Even though I swore to protect your child….I…..
I am sorry… I am soー….
「Just drink it! I won’t forgive you if you don’t!」(Sirius)
That black hair…Aria-sama?
Understood. If it is… your order….
And as I desperately drank the thing brought up to my mouth….I realized something is not right.
This voice and these hands belong not to Aria-sama… but Sirius…sama?
「Sleep」(Sirius)
Aa….Sirius-sama.
You have grown to the point….you can order me around.
Please… grow further as you areー….
「Where…am I?」(Erina)
I was alive.
Fatigue is still there, but fever that was tormenting my body so much was gone, and I could understand that I completely recovered from water disease.
And when I realized that Sirius-sama was sleeping in an unstable position while leaning on my bed….I remembered.
I had my life saved by this personage.
That serious expression while trying to save me was just like a splitting image of Aria-sama.
“How did the medicine…” …a question comes to mind, but looking at this innocent sleeping face, I feel like it is not important.
Unable to endure that much adorableness I ended up reaching out to Sirius-sama with my hand, and ended up patting his head.
「Erina!?」(Sirius)
「Yes, at your side」(Erina)
After that I told him the truth, and after Sirius-sama’s confession, got to know the reason behind his abnormal growth.
A really unbelievable thing, but if this personage says so, then that must be the truth.
No, for the current me, something like the truth is not important.
This personage has already grown to the point I can respect him as my master.
From now on, not as Aria-sama’s servant, but as a servant of Sirius-sama, I shall serve him for all of my life.
※※※※※
Sirius-sama is growing absurdly fast.
Just a few days ago, he had a fight Dee, who is an ex-adventurer and is bigger, and it ended in Sirius-sama’s victory.
Now he plays a central role for us, having grown into a splendid master who gives dreams and hopes not only for me, but also for Noel and Dee.
However…. this growth that can be said to be obviously extraordinary.
And this power that can easily take a person’s life.
From a stranger’s perspective he can also be described as a frightening existence.
But Sirius-sama understands how to use use this power, calls us a family, and is a personage who is kind enough to always worry about us.
I do not think of him as frightening, not even a tiny bit.
This personage is our beloved chiー… no, beloved goshujin-sama.
That sort of Sirius-sama one day came back to the mansion with silver-wolf clan children, that he found, in tow.
Siblings had nowhere to go, having lost not just their parents, but also their home village.
Frankly, we do not have enough leeway to also provide for the pair, but if that is Sirius-sama’s desire, the only thing for us to do is responding to it.
Also… since it is Sirius-sama’s first time saying something selfish, I definitely want to fulfill it.
「Pat me more…」(Reus)
「Yes, yes, Reus is good child, isn’t he」(Erina)
「Un….」(Reus)
While Sirius-sama was treating Emilia’s scars, I was putting Reus to bed.
Reus, sleeping with an innocent expresion is cute, but even so, Sirius-sama’s sleeping face is the best.
Speaking of which, when was the last time I saw Sirius-sama’s sleeping face?
He does get up earlier than us, so I do not have a memory of seeing it for these last few years.
Sirius-sama’s growth is a joyous thing, but I find myself wishing he would be a bit more selfish, like appropriate for his age, and fawn on me like Reus.
That night, it was decided that Sirius-sama would be finally sleeping in my bed.
Sirius-sama seems to be thinking about something, but that serious face is also lovely.
Even though it used to be so small just a while back…. he has grown splendidly.
「Say… I’ll get anxious if I’m watched that much so…」(Sirius)
「I’m very sorry. However, I can’t sleep if I’m not facing this side」(Erina)
「Don’t lie.」(Sirius)
「No, only for today, I can’t sleep if I’m not facing this side」(Erina)
This kind of happy time, I how can I waste it by sleeping.
A few days after that, Emilia and Reus realized Sirius-sama’s magnificence, and oathed loyalty to him.
Especially Emilia, she will likely become a servant that will never betray him.
That is, it is likely this child will succeed me.
I… do not have long left.
Lately my body does not move like I want it to, and the days I cannot handle work, if I do not rest a few times, are increasing.
And above all, the problem is my age, so I cannot support Sirius-sama forever.
Making a succesor… in other words, it means entrusting my feelings, but this is nothing but my own selfishness.
It is an act that does not only make Emilia carry an invisible weight, but also one that decides her future.
If I tell her my one-sided feelings in spite of that….
「I decided to live for Sirius-sama’s sake. So please teach me all the skills of a servant, Erina-san!」(Emilia)
Emilia accepted with gusto.
Sirius-sama, you found a truly good child.
I will make sure to raise this child into a fine servant, suitable for Sirius-sama.
Most likely, this will be my last task.
So please.
Hold out…just a little longer.
※※※※※
It seems I am at my limit.
However, I have entrusted all of my feelings to Emilia.
The only thing left was saying my last words to everyone, but I ended up getting scolded by Sirius-sama.
「I will. But I want you to say what you really think… kaa-san」(Sirius)
And… got called kaa-san.
Even though I did not give birth to you, even though I am not your true mother…is it alright?
Is it alright to be your mother?
Feelings, that I was never supposed to have, flooded over and I could not hold back my tears.
「….am I allowed to do that?」(Erina)
「Since I won’t be seeing you as anything but my mother anymore. So please, otherwise I might end up hating you」(Sirius)
「I don’t want to be hated by Sirius-sama…no by Sirius. So I shall do as you say」(Erina)
I shall convey my thoughts to everyone one last time.
To Reus, to be more elegant.
To Dee, to have more courage.
To Noel, to keep smiling brightly.
To Emilia, to take care of herself as well.
And for Sirius, just like Aria-sama’s last will… to live…freely.
「Could you… hold my hand?」(Erina)
「Sure」(Sirius)
「Would you call me kaa-san one more time?」(Erina)
「Any number of times, kaa-san」(Sirius)
「Once more」(Erina)
「Kaa-san」(Sirius)
「A bit louder」(Erina)
「Kaa-san!」(Sirius)
「I would like to be called mama」(Erina)
「Yes yes, mama」(Sirius)
「As I thought, I like kaa-san better」
「Understood, Kaa-san」(Sirius)
「Fufu, this is the first time I see your tearful face. You would cry for me, huh?」(Erina)
「Isn’t…that obvious」(Sirius)
Because of the drug, I cannot feel you holding my hand, but I can feel your kindness.
And so, Sirius, who never cried even once since his birth, is letting his tears flow.
This child, that did not cry even after knowing that Aria-sama is already gone…is crying for me.
「Me too…. I was happy…. to be with you, mom」(Sirius)
I… was able to be your mother, huh?
「I love you… my Sirius」(Erina)
「I love you too, kaa-san」(Sirius)
「Aa….those words are enough. Sirius…..」(Erina)
Abruptly… my memories of the past overflow.
Ever since I received my life in this world, I was met with painful, horrible experiences many times.
Losing my parents, becoming a noble’s servant with conditions almost akin to selling myself, spending those grueling days.
And contracting a serious disease, my body becoming unable to give birth, I despaired.
However…I, who lost my reasons to live, got saved by Aria-sama.
After also losing Aria-sama, who saved me, that time when I was about fall to despair once again…I met you.
The time I lifted you, a child left behind by Aria-sama, in my arms….everything was decided for me.
“I shall…live to protect this child.”
I found a cute…lovely…existence I wanted to protect, even if had to sacrifice everything else.
It was troubling and difficult at times, but thinking of you, nothing scared me.
For you were the reason I live.
Being called kaa-san by you, I got repaid for everything.
Giving dreams to Noel and Dee who are my family, becoming an aim for Emilia and Reus… you are my pride.
I was able to come this far, because you were here.
Because you were here, my world was filled with radiance.
Therefore…I want tell you at the end.
My lovely Sirius.
…for being born, I….
Author’s note: Last words are the main story.
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